Have I told You lately that I love You???

This week celebrates something that we aren't exactly celebrating- Tim has been out of work for 5 months. He's in construction, so it's not unusual to get laid off for a short time in the winter. But he has NEVER been out this long. And there doesn't look to be anything in the near future. (sigh) He's put out resumes, went to see people, and followed the scarce leads that have come in. But, in this economy, any place that isn't laying off employees has a hiring freeze. We are just one of many in this situation.



However, I think we are unique to many others because we have hope. Our hope is not in politicians' promises, the evening news, or the stimulus bill- our hope is in Christ. His promises are never empty!

He tells us: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."



I wasn't fearful at all, really. We cut our budget to the bare bones & then some. I got a part time job. The input & output were almost equeal, but we made it. Then my hours were cut. The numbers weren't close anymore. But we made it. God is SO good, and He made it work!



Then came April. For the first time, I was anxious. I was so angry at myself. How could this be happening? I kept telling myself that I was putting my trust in the Lord, but the numbers.... oh, the numbers. I knew it was time to kick up my prayer.... not praying for the numbers to work, but praying for peace. Praying as in James 4:7- "abide therefore in God. Cast out the devil and he will flee from you."

Satan loves it when we are fearful. He is the prince of fear!



I prayed constantly for God to fill my heart so much that there was no room for Satan and his baloney. I won't lie... it took constant, serious prayer. Satan kept reminding me that 5 months is a long time and the job front wasn't looking any better than it did 5 months ago.



But God is soooo much bigger!!!



The fear is gone. And with the fear gone, God kept working in my life. He is the King of Miracles. Nothing is too big for him- especially our measly little budget.



I love You, Lord. Not because of what You do for me, but because of who You are. I don't deserve You, and that makes it even more amazing that You love me so much.



Thank you, God. I love You!!!!!

In the (my) dark ages

I got brave last night and decided to put my maiden name on my facebook account.

I am in a very good place now and very happy with life. But it wasn't always that way. I used to be kind of a mess. Ok.... not kind of.... I was a SERIOUS mess. But that seems soooooo long ago. I actually refer to it as my previous life....... BC...... before Christ. It really WAS a previous life. He has made me a completely different person that I used to be.

What is sad is that I had to leave so many people behind. Some of those people are dangerous. No, that is not an exaggeration. Some of those in my past are quite dangerous. Maybe (probably?) to themselves, but definitely to me. I do not want them to know where I am now- for my own physical protection. Sad, huh?

So, I got a little nostalgic last night and decided to look up a few of the people from my past. I was hoping to find that some of them had also turned their lives around. I was hopeful.

Most of them I didn't find. Maybe I'm just too ADD to take enough time. Maybe that fact that it was almost midnight had something to do with it.

I had one person in particular in mind. He has a pretty common name, so after going through 40+ pages on Google I decided to try a different route- I searched court records. He's earned himself 2 more DUI's since I last saw him. Now he's at a total of 4. The last one wasn't all that long ago.
Another is dead from a drug overdose.
Another is in prison for aggravated rape.
Another is on her 6th marraige.

I could have been these people.

What breaks my heart more is that they could be where I am now.

They can't do it on their own. I didn't.
It's totally a God thing. He changed me, He can change them. He wants to change them.

Why do so many push Him away when they are in such a dark place?

I spent last night praying for them. They can try all they want to put out that flicker of Light, but if they just take the chance and turn it up a bit they can have joy beyond anything they ever imagined.

I don't have any deep & amazing to say....
I'm sad for them.
But I am OH SO GRATEFUL that God loves me!

Happy New Year

Wow.... I can't believe it's been almost a month since I last posted. I've meant to post many times, but just never got around to it.

Let's see..........

I am now working full time. The job I'm doing is truly a blessing. I'm working from home and I thank God for that opportunity. The fact that I'm working 36 hours a week doesn't exactly thrill me, but it IS helping to give us those nice frivolous little extra things like heat and electricity. It has just been SO long since I've had to be on someone else's schedule.....

I know I posted before about how we were doing just great without a dryer. Well, I was sick for quite a bit and spent Christmas night and the next week pretty much in bed 24/7. It's kind of hard to catch up on all that laundry when I can only wash & hang 2-3 loads a day- if that much even got done around school & work. Finally, I figured we could cough up $50-$60 for a used dryer. Of course I wasn't finding anything like that on Craigslist.... and any even CLOSE to that price were electric. So, I posted under household that I was looking to buy a used gas dryer. My post went something like:
Wanted: GAS dryer
Hubby got laid off, so we can't afford a new one.
Gas is a must.
Working is a must.
Ugly is just fine!

That night I got an email from someone offering to sell me theirs for $100. Maybe they didn't realize how ugly I was willing to go?
The next day I get an email from Robert that says:
I have a white Kenmore gas dryer in my garage that works fine. I live in an all-electric house, so I have no need for it anymore. You can have it for free, but you will have to come to my house and pick it up. Let me know, ###-###-####, Robert
After I realized that my mouth was hanging open like fool I felt the tears start. God is SO good! Tim drove out there a couple days later (I had to work) to pick it up. Come to find out that Robert and his wife lead the children's ministry at their church. They have been trying to give this dryer away for a year! God kept them patient all this time until we needed it!

I've been in prayer quite a bit the last 24 hours.
*A very dear friend and sister Christian got in touch with me yesterday to let me know that her 11 year old niece just had a brain tumor removed. The doctors said that if they had found it even 7 days later, she may not have made it.
*Another friend ended up in the hospital yesterday. This person is going through LOADS of testing to try to find the source of this particular problem. The couple are dear, dear friends of ours. We are praying and praying and trusting God. I do wish there was more we could do. Seeing their faith at work melts my heart.
*Yet another friend ended up in the hospital after enduring back problems that couldnt' be diagnosed for WAY too long, the doctors found staph infection in his back. Praying for healing for him as well.

Puts my whining about my dryer, or lack of one, right into perspective, doesn't it?

Today, on our way back from karate class, I had to stop at the post office. Another nasty storm had just started. As I was waiting for a left turn arrow, I see a man standing outside of his car in the driveway at Walgreen. Something (someONE) made me open my window and ask, "Do you need to call someone?" The man who was standing closer to the road, who I thought was with the man by car pointed to other guy and said, "I think he does".
So I pulled in behind him to offer him my phone.
This man tells me, "I need to go across the street to get some gas (he had run out of gas) and my baby is in the car". Not sure exactly what he wanted, I asked him if he wanted me to watch his baby while he went. He said yes.
(Now, if you weren't there, you might wonder why he didn't just take his baby daughter with him. It was VERY nasty out. It was snowing ice- ice that feels like it is cutting into your face. And crossing that street wasn't exactly safe- it was sooooo icy & slippery.)
His car was locked (I presume... I didn't attempt to open the doors) so I just stood outside his car watching his beautiful daughter while he went to get gas. She couldn't have been more than 8 months old and was as happy as could be. She just watched Sierra & I (Sierra was not about to pass up the chance to gawk at a baby!) while we waited. 5-10 minutes later, dad was back- newly purchased & filled gas can in hand. We chatted for less than a minute when I realized he was pulling money out of his wallet to hand me.
"Absoluetly NOT!"
"Please"
"No. This is what people SHOULD do. People SHOULD take care of each other."
"You're right. We should"
We shook hands, and he waved as we drove away.
God was SO THERE!

And for me and my intense, deep 'dis-like' of winter..... It was warm & SONny for a short time today in Garfield Heights, Ohio.