In the (my) dark ages

I got brave last night and decided to put my maiden name on my facebook account.

I am in a very good place now and very happy with life. But it wasn't always that way. I used to be kind of a mess. Ok.... not kind of.... I was a SERIOUS mess. But that seems soooooo long ago. I actually refer to it as my previous life....... BC...... before Christ. It really WAS a previous life. He has made me a completely different person that I used to be.

What is sad is that I had to leave so many people behind. Some of those people are dangerous. No, that is not an exaggeration. Some of those in my past are quite dangerous. Maybe (probably?) to themselves, but definitely to me. I do not want them to know where I am now- for my own physical protection. Sad, huh?

So, I got a little nostalgic last night and decided to look up a few of the people from my past. I was hoping to find that some of them had also turned their lives around. I was hopeful.

Most of them I didn't find. Maybe I'm just too ADD to take enough time. Maybe that fact that it was almost midnight had something to do with it.

I had one person in particular in mind. He has a pretty common name, so after going through 40+ pages on Google I decided to try a different route- I searched court records. He's earned himself 2 more DUI's since I last saw him. Now he's at a total of 4. The last one wasn't all that long ago.
Another is dead from a drug overdose.
Another is in prison for aggravated rape.
Another is on her 6th marraige.

I could have been these people.

What breaks my heart more is that they could be where I am now.

They can't do it on their own. I didn't.
It's totally a God thing. He changed me, He can change them. He wants to change them.

Why do so many push Him away when they are in such a dark place?

I spent last night praying for them. They can try all they want to put out that flicker of Light, but if they just take the chance and turn it up a bit they can have joy beyond anything they ever imagined.

I don't have any deep & amazing to say....
I'm sad for them.
But I am OH SO GRATEFUL that God loves me!