Have I told You lately that I love You???

This week celebrates something that we aren't exactly celebrating- Tim has been out of work for 5 months. He's in construction, so it's not unusual to get laid off for a short time in the winter. But he has NEVER been out this long. And there doesn't look to be anything in the near future. (sigh) He's put out resumes, went to see people, and followed the scarce leads that have come in. But, in this economy, any place that isn't laying off employees has a hiring freeze. We are just one of many in this situation.



However, I think we are unique to many others because we have hope. Our hope is not in politicians' promises, the evening news, or the stimulus bill- our hope is in Christ. His promises are never empty!

He tells us: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."



I wasn't fearful at all, really. We cut our budget to the bare bones & then some. I got a part time job. The input & output were almost equeal, but we made it. Then my hours were cut. The numbers weren't close anymore. But we made it. God is SO good, and He made it work!



Then came April. For the first time, I was anxious. I was so angry at myself. How could this be happening? I kept telling myself that I was putting my trust in the Lord, but the numbers.... oh, the numbers. I knew it was time to kick up my prayer.... not praying for the numbers to work, but praying for peace. Praying as in James 4:7- "abide therefore in God. Cast out the devil and he will flee from you."

Satan loves it when we are fearful. He is the prince of fear!



I prayed constantly for God to fill my heart so much that there was no room for Satan and his baloney. I won't lie... it took constant, serious prayer. Satan kept reminding me that 5 months is a long time and the job front wasn't looking any better than it did 5 months ago.



But God is soooo much bigger!!!



The fear is gone. And with the fear gone, God kept working in my life. He is the King of Miracles. Nothing is too big for him- especially our measly little budget.



I love You, Lord. Not because of what You do for me, but because of who You are. I don't deserve You, and that makes it even more amazing that You love me so much.



Thank you, God. I love You!!!!!

In the (my) dark ages

I got brave last night and decided to put my maiden name on my facebook account.

I am in a very good place now and very happy with life. But it wasn't always that way. I used to be kind of a mess. Ok.... not kind of.... I was a SERIOUS mess. But that seems soooooo long ago. I actually refer to it as my previous life....... BC...... before Christ. It really WAS a previous life. He has made me a completely different person that I used to be.

What is sad is that I had to leave so many people behind. Some of those people are dangerous. No, that is not an exaggeration. Some of those in my past are quite dangerous. Maybe (probably?) to themselves, but definitely to me. I do not want them to know where I am now- for my own physical protection. Sad, huh?

So, I got a little nostalgic last night and decided to look up a few of the people from my past. I was hoping to find that some of them had also turned their lives around. I was hopeful.

Most of them I didn't find. Maybe I'm just too ADD to take enough time. Maybe that fact that it was almost midnight had something to do with it.

I had one person in particular in mind. He has a pretty common name, so after going through 40+ pages on Google I decided to try a different route- I searched court records. He's earned himself 2 more DUI's since I last saw him. Now he's at a total of 4. The last one wasn't all that long ago.
Another is dead from a drug overdose.
Another is in prison for aggravated rape.
Another is on her 6th marraige.

I could have been these people.

What breaks my heart more is that they could be where I am now.

They can't do it on their own. I didn't.
It's totally a God thing. He changed me, He can change them. He wants to change them.

Why do so many push Him away when they are in such a dark place?

I spent last night praying for them. They can try all they want to put out that flicker of Light, but if they just take the chance and turn it up a bit they can have joy beyond anything they ever imagined.

I don't have any deep & amazing to say....
I'm sad for them.
But I am OH SO GRATEFUL that God loves me!