Thinking till my brain hurts

Our small group studied this passage for the past week:

Luke 7:36-50 (NASB)

36Now one of the Pharisees was requesting Him to dine with him, and He entered the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table.
37And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume,
38and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume.
39Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner."

Parable of Two Debtors

40And Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to say to you." And he replied, "Say it, Teacher."
41"A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42"When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?"
43Simon answered and said, "I suppose the one whom he forgave more." And He said to him, "You have judged correctly."
44Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.
45"You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet.
46"You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume.
47"For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little."
48Then He said to her, "Your sins have been forgiven."
49Those who were reclining at the table with Him began to say to themselves, "Who is this man who even forgives sins?"
50And He said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

We spent quite a bit of time on this. I love our group because I always leave thinking!

We rehashed one idea that we had brought up the week before when studying different scripture:
"Does someone who lead a really bad life before being saved, have more sin that needs to be forgiven?
Do they then appreciate what God has done by forgiving them even more than someone who led a not so bad life before being saved?"

I know (and hopefully you do too) that ALL sin separates us from God. So, we are all sinful- little or much- we can not EARN our way to heaven.

So, is Jesus saying that one person is more sinful and is forgiven more so they love Him more? Or is He saying that some of us see our own sins less than the sins of others? If so, is He then saying that THIS person is more sinful because they THINK they are more righteous than the person with the obvious sins? Or is He saying that forgiveness is forgiveness, and therefore no one is forgiven more than another?

We spent a LOT of time on this, and I don't think for one second that I am going to solve this in this post! But I AM curious to what anyone else may think, so please feel free to comment!!!!



Now, my past is very ugly. I know many people who are not proud of who they were before they found Christ, but I am truly ashamed. I've shared my testimony with several people from church and elsewhere. I even gave my testimony to a group of women while were were on our mission trip in the Appalachian Mountains. I talked for about 30 minutes. I cried and so did several others.
I've shared the 'condensed version' several times since then. I am NOT going to put it in this blog for a couple reasons:
1. I have family who may read this and are NOT ready or able to hear it.
2. I know that some younger people, who know my children read this, and I do not think it is appropriate for them or my own children to read. Yet.

But last week Rick talked about how, if someone was in a really, really, really bad way before coming to Christ, they have an appreciation for the amazing grace He brings us through salvation. People who haven't been there can definitely experience His grace- I'm not saying they don't. But can they REALLY know how close hell can be right here on earth??? I hope not.

I've seen and experienced things that I will never admit to anyone. But God knows. He knows everything I did, everything I thought, and everything I felt.
And He loves me anyways!!!!!
He doesn't just put His fingers in his ears and say "la la la la la la"... He wipes the sin AWAY! It is GONE!
When I mess up again, He doesn't give me a dirty look and think "figures. Look what you did in the past. You are a screw up and you will always be a screw up," while He sigh heavily and rolls His eyes. Instead, He draws me closer and keeps loving me.

It took me about 12 years after I accepted Christ to forgive myself. To realize that God wasn't holding my sins over my head, forgiving me for most of my sins but holding onto the super ugly ones. He never says, "I forgive you. Well, except for those ones. You know... those doozies.... those..... wellll....."
Nope. They are gone too.



Soooooooooooo.....
Do I love Christ more than someone who didn't lead their life running and screaming away from Christ? Do I appreciate what I have in Christ more than that person?

I would tend to think so, but I dont' know for sure.

I know that Satan thought he had me securely in this grip. And I was in his grip. No doubt about that. But securely?

Naaaahhhhhh......

Cuz God knew He was going to get me back.
He just had some work to do in/though/to me first.

Happy New Year

Wow.... I can't believe it's been almost a month since I last posted. I've meant to post many times, but just never got around to it.

Let's see..........

I am now working full time. The job I'm doing is truly a blessing. I'm working from home and I thank God for that opportunity. The fact that I'm working 36 hours a week doesn't exactly thrill me, but it IS helping to give us those nice frivolous little extra things like heat and electricity. It has just been SO long since I've had to be on someone else's schedule.....

I know I posted before about how we were doing just great without a dryer. Well, I was sick for quite a bit and spent Christmas night and the next week pretty much in bed 24/7. It's kind of hard to catch up on all that laundry when I can only wash & hang 2-3 loads a day- if that much even got done around school & work. Finally, I figured we could cough up $50-$60 for a used dryer. Of course I wasn't finding anything like that on Craigslist.... and any even CLOSE to that price were electric. So, I posted under household that I was looking to buy a used gas dryer. My post went something like:
Wanted: GAS dryer
Hubby got laid off, so we can't afford a new one.
Gas is a must.
Working is a must.
Ugly is just fine!

That night I got an email from someone offering to sell me theirs for $100. Maybe they didn't realize how ugly I was willing to go?
The next day I get an email from Robert that says:
I have a white Kenmore gas dryer in my garage that works fine. I live in an all-electric house, so I have no need for it anymore. You can have it for free, but you will have to come to my house and pick it up. Let me know, ###-###-####, Robert
After I realized that my mouth was hanging open like fool I felt the tears start. God is SO good! Tim drove out there a couple days later (I had to work) to pick it up. Come to find out that Robert and his wife lead the children's ministry at their church. They have been trying to give this dryer away for a year! God kept them patient all this time until we needed it!

I've been in prayer quite a bit the last 24 hours.
*A very dear friend and sister Christian got in touch with me yesterday to let me know that her 11 year old niece just had a brain tumor removed. The doctors said that if they had found it even 7 days later, she may not have made it.
*Another friend ended up in the hospital yesterday. This person is going through LOADS of testing to try to find the source of this particular problem. The couple are dear, dear friends of ours. We are praying and praying and trusting God. I do wish there was more we could do. Seeing their faith at work melts my heart.
*Yet another friend ended up in the hospital after enduring back problems that couldnt' be diagnosed for WAY too long, the doctors found staph infection in his back. Praying for healing for him as well.

Puts my whining about my dryer, or lack of one, right into perspective, doesn't it?

Today, on our way back from karate class, I had to stop at the post office. Another nasty storm had just started. As I was waiting for a left turn arrow, I see a man standing outside of his car in the driveway at Walgreen. Something (someONE) made me open my window and ask, "Do you need to call someone?" The man who was standing closer to the road, who I thought was with the man by car pointed to other guy and said, "I think he does".
So I pulled in behind him to offer him my phone.
This man tells me, "I need to go across the street to get some gas (he had run out of gas) and my baby is in the car". Not sure exactly what he wanted, I asked him if he wanted me to watch his baby while he went. He said yes.
(Now, if you weren't there, you might wonder why he didn't just take his baby daughter with him. It was VERY nasty out. It was snowing ice- ice that feels like it is cutting into your face. And crossing that street wasn't exactly safe- it was sooooo icy & slippery.)
His car was locked (I presume... I didn't attempt to open the doors) so I just stood outside his car watching his beautiful daughter while he went to get gas. She couldn't have been more than 8 months old and was as happy as could be. She just watched Sierra & I (Sierra was not about to pass up the chance to gawk at a baby!) while we waited. 5-10 minutes later, dad was back- newly purchased & filled gas can in hand. We chatted for less than a minute when I realized he was pulling money out of his wallet to hand me.
"Absoluetly NOT!"
"Please"
"No. This is what people SHOULD do. People SHOULD take care of each other."
"You're right. We should"
We shook hands, and he waved as we drove away.
God was SO THERE!

And for me and my intense, deep 'dis-like' of winter..... It was warm & SONny for a short time today in Garfield Heights, Ohio.